


gender is hard (so are crushes)

by aceflowerchild



Category: Paranatural (Webcomic)
Genre: (max and johnny bc i love them), 1st chap is abt eds discovery of the trans community and thinkin abt gender stuff, Agender Ed, Canon Non-Binary Character, Ed says something a lil transphobic but its bc he doesnt know pls forgive him, Ed's sexuality is 'people are pretty and I'm scared of all them', Other, Trans Male Character, and that cannot be taken away from me, i will be the change i wish to see in the world re: rj and ed content, max is a good friend, seriously there is ONE FIC and they arent even the main focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-22 18:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13770480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceflowerchild/pseuds/aceflowerchild
Summary: Ed can't help thinking about RJ, despite his best efforts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in 2 days and it is unbeta'd so forgive my mistakes. this is also my first paranatural fic and i feel like the characters are kinda ooc??? esp ed. blease i am sorry. this is also entirely self-indulgent, bc i crave that rj/ed content. thank u for coming to my ted talk

After the whole ‘stalk and hunt Mr. Starchman’ incident, Ed tried to keep his head low, which wasn’t exactly easy for a person who fights spirits on a daily basis, but he did his best. And however hard he tried to put it all behind him, he couldn’t help thinking about that kid, RJ. It nearly got him eaten the day after, and of course, Isabel and Mr. Spender reprimanded him, and he shrugged sheepishly.

But he kept thinking. More specifically about the word Johnny had used. _Nonbinary_. For RJ, it meant they weren’t a boy or a girl. But what did it mean for other people? Ed wanted to ask someone, but who? Isabel would know just about as much as he did, and he’s pretty sure Isaac isn’t on speaking terms with anyone in the club at this point.

Maybe he could go to Max? It was unorthodox, as he was still fairly new, but perhaps he would know something. Ed would be willing to trade Max all his Starchman Stars for the information.

So when Mr. Spender assigns them both to morning patrol, Ed decides to seize the opportunity.

“Max?” Ed asks as soon as they reach the stairs. He wanted to get it over with so he wouldn’t lose his nerve. Max looks over to him, one eyebrow raised in an indication to go on. Ed swallows and asks, “Have you ever, uh, wanted to be, um, anything other than-”

Of course, before he can spit out what he wants to say, screaming comes from the upstairs. Ed and Max look at each other for a second and race the rest of the way to the next floor.

Just as Ed feared; it was a… something. Ed actually had no idea what this thing was, but it looked to be zipping around and yelling. Other than that, no harm was being done, so Ed started backing away, motioning for Max to do the same. No need to aggravate something into poltergeisting if you can help it.

Once they get back down the stairs, they continue on with morning patrol, and Ed’s nerve to ask his questions had faded. Max, however, clearly hadn’t forgotten.

Because about 5 minutes later, he asked, “So, Ed. What were you gonna ask me back there?”

Ed froze, unsure of what to do. There were so many outcomes here. Too many risks. So Ed did what he did best: made things awkward. “Um, I, uhh just remembered! I have to be somewhere!”

“What? Where?”

“Not here!” Ed yelled as he ran in the opposite direction from where they had been going. He hid in a bathroom on the first floor until the bell rang and then made his way to Mr. Garcia’s classroom, making a beeline to the very back in hopes that Max wouldn’t see him there. Unfortunately, Max was already at one of the desks in Ed’s path, so he really had nowhere to hide.

Ed, resigned to his fate, sat next to Max and sighed.

“So, what was that all about?” Max asked, just before the second bell rang.

“I’ll tell you later,” Ed whispered back. Of course, he had no intention of doing so. The whole risk/reward thing and all.

But, once the bell to end class rang, Max put his good arm around Ed’s shoulders and steered him into the hallway to make sure he wouldn’t escape this time. “What’s on your mind, you great big weirdo, you?”

Ed didn’t see how he was going to get out of this one, so he sighed and asked quietly, “Max, have you ever wanted to be anything other than a boy?”

Max’s eyes widened in understanding. “Oh. Well, y’see, I’m kinda on the opposite side of that. I’ve only ever wanted to be a boy.”

Ed deflates. So Max _doesn’t_ have answers. But before Ed can say anything else, Max rushes to say, “But I think I can help! I uh.” Max clears his throat and looks around the hall before whispering to Ed, “I’m trans.” Then, in a normal voice, “Can you meet me at my house after school? I’d be more comfortable talking there.”

Ed nods silently and Max smiles briefly at him before running off to his next class. Which Ed is now late to. Oh dear.

* * *

 

The school day ends and Ed and Max check in with the AC before taking off, just to make sure they don’t need to do anything. And Ed has to tell Isabel where he’s going, because she’ll worry if he doesn’t.

“What? Where are you going?” she asks, a hurt look on her face.

“Uh-”

“He’s coming to my place,” Max swoops in, saving Ed from having to make up an explanation. “He has some questions that he wanted me to help with.”

“Well why not ask me?”

Ed shrugs. “Sorry Izzy, but I don’t think this is stuff you would have answers to.”

“Oh. Can I come too?” She directs the question at Max, but Max looks to Ed as if to say, ‘It’s up to you.’

Ed hates making decisions.

And yet, he must. “It’s, y’know, guy stuff.” He hates lying to Izzy, but he’s just not sure how she’d react. He hadn’t even told her about everything that had happened. Especially not about RJ. He wanted that to be a secret, for now.

“Ohhh, why didn’t you just say so? Yeah, go ahead, have your ‘guy talk’ or whatever. Just try to be home before dark, you know how grandpa is.” Isabel rolls her eyes as she talks about her grandpa, and Ed agrees. He’s too hard on her.

“Sure thing! Ready Max?”

Max shoots Ed a thumbs up and Ed follows him out of the school. Halfway to Max’s, Max says, “Guy stuff?”

“I didn’t know what else to tell her! I haven’t even told her that I found out what the words mean yet!”

Max chuckles. “It’s okay. I doubt I could do better. I probably would’ve said something dumb like ‘school project’ even though she has the same classes as us.”

“Heh. Yeah, that is dumb.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t be mean to your host.”

“Oh, right. Is your dad gonna be okay with this?”

“What? Yeah. He’ll just be happy that I have friends. And, even better, I can talk to you without people thinking I’m crazy!”

“That’s always a good quality in friends.”

They arrive at the convenience store and Max walks straight ahead, trusting the doors to open, but Ed hangs back, nervous. Not about the house, he’d been there before, though never upstairs. It was about the information he could be about to get. It had the power to change his life forever, and there was no going back from that. But Ed would never know how if he didn’t go. So he held his head high and strode into the store, doors sliding back open for him.

Max was staring at him from the stairs behind the counter, one eyebrow raised. The girl behind the counter looked a lot like Max (and also looked _way_ too young to be running a cash register) so Ed figured she must be Max’s sister.

Ed followed Max up the stairs to the house portion of the building. Mr. Puckett looks like he’s just coming out of the bathroom and Max drags Ed past him, saying, “Hey dad, this is my friend Ed, he wants to talk about gender stuff, bye.”

Max pulls Ed into his room before his dad can say anything. His muffled reply comes through the door, “Okay kiddo. I’ll be in the store. Yell if you need anything!”

“M’kay!” Max went to his bookshelf and started pulling things off of it and Ed took the time to look around the room. There were at least three different Shred Eagle posters tacked onto the walls and on the nightstand there was a picture of Max’s parents. Before Ed had a chance to really look at anything else, Max had handed him two books and a handful of pamphlets.

“These are all things my parents got when I started saying that I was a boy,” Max explained. “They’re pretty helpful, but I can answer some questions for you too, if you want.” Ed looked at Max, who was looking to the side and chewing on his lip.

“Thanks. I guess my biggest question is about the word nonbinary? I know one definition of it, but that was just what it meant to that one person, so I was wondering what it could mean to other people?”

Max furrowed his eyebrows as he thought. “I know it can include a bunch of different things. Like, there’s agender and genderfluid and demi genders, but it all depends on whatever that person wants. I’m sure one of these books has more definitions in it,” he said, looking at the covers of both books. Then he pointed to the bottom one. “It’s that one. It’s also got blurbs from people of all the different identities, so you can read those too. But don’t feel pressured to figure it all out at once. Gender is weird and confusing, and they don’t even teach it in school to help kids out. It’s dumb.”

Ed nodded. It _was_ dumb and he was already confused. “When did you become trans?”

Max made a face and shrugged. “I dunno. I was really young, like 3 or 4. But everyone figures it out at different times. Some people don’t figure out until they’re really old. Also, it’s not ‘when did I _become_ trans’ it’s ‘when did I start _identifying_ as trans’. I forgive you this time, because you didn’t know, but try not to do it again.”

“Oh, sorry. I’ll keep that in mind. Um. Thanks.”

“No problem buddy. And uh, I want that stuff back when you’re done with it.”

“Sure thing. Seeya.”

“Wait! Could you not tell anyone that I’m trans?” The look on Max’s face is almost… scared?

Ed nods once, sharply, and walks downstairs with the books in hand and Max behind him. Ed waves to the Pucketts as he walks out of the sliding door and as soon as he’s sure he’s facing the right direction, he opens up one of the books Max had lent him.

And, with his nose in the book, he wasn’t paying much attention to what was in front of him. Or rather, _who_. Because, somehow, he didn’t hear Johnny Jhonny, who was practically know for being the loudest boy at Mayview Middle School, if not in all of Mayview itself.

So when he ran into him and his gang (RJ included) he was understandably startled. That didn’t stop them from being confused when Ed pulled out his tool and pointed it at the four of them. He quickly realized what was going on, however, and shoved the paintbrush back into his pocket and scrambled to pick up the book he had dropped (the others were tucked safely into his backpack).

RJ got to it first, looking at the front cover. Ed, panicked, snatched the book from their hands and ran off. He faintly heard the big one say, “Ain’t you gonna pulverize that nerd Johnny?”

“Nah. He’s good people. Right RJ?”

* * *

 

He got to the house just before dark and out of breath. He made sure everything was in his bag before he even set foot on the property, because the last thing he wanted was for someone to see it and start asking questions.

Unfortunately, no one needed to see it to ask questions, because Isabel interrogated him as soon as he walked in the door.

“So, how was it? Was it everything you ever dreamed? Did he answer all your questions? What happened? Tell me everything!”

Ed looked around before pulling Izzy into his room. “Okay, I lied.”

She looks confused at that. “What?”

“I lied about what I was doing.”

“You mean, you didn’t go to Max’s house?” She looks outraged and a little betrayed.

“I did! But it wasn’t ‘guy stuff’ that we talked about.”

Isabel folds her arms and sits on Ed’s bed with a _whumph_. “Then what _did_ you go over there for?”

“Izzy, have you ever heard the word nonbinary?”

She raises her eyebrows. “No. What’s that mean?”

Ed pulled out the book Max had pointed out earlier and showed it to Isabel. “You can choose not to be a boy or a girl.”

“What? I didn’t know that! Where’d you find that out?”

Ed starts retelling what he enthusiastically dubbed ‘The Starchman Epic’ and started showing Izzy all of the different things Max had given him.

“Woah! This is so neat! How come Max has all this stuff?”

Now it was time for Ed to panic. He had no idea what to say. He didn’t want to lie to Isabel, _again_ , but he didn’t want to break his promise to Max either. “Uh. He had some friends. In Baxborough.”

Isabel seems content with that. “Huh. Okay.”

They end up reading through the books all night, only sleeping in small bursts, usually woken up by their own snoring. Needless to say, they are exhausted the next day. Mr. Spender tries to put them on morning patrol, but they both groan and lay on the floor.

“Okay then. Max, Isaac! Morning patrol.”

Ed hears them walk out into the hall just as he falls asleep on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ed and max text at one point and the names are what they have each other as in contacts. also I forgot abt max's arm like 5 times and just shoehorned smth in. also also, there is the tiniest bit of bullymagnet, bc i just couldn't resist

“Why are you guys so tired?” Max asks at lunch. Ed was staring at his chicken sandwich as if it had done him a serious wrong and Isabel was face down on the table.

“We stayed up all night reading those books,” she said, rolling her head to the side in order to be heard.

Max looks at Ed incredulously. “You didn’t have to go through them so quickly, you know.”

Ed shrugged. “Yeah, but why put off ‘til tomorrow what you can do today?”

Max pointed at Ed and Isabel. “That’s why. _Sleep_ is why. You guys are ridiculous.”

“Sure are!” Isabel said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

“Anyway,” Ed began, drawing Max’s attention back to him. “I think I figured something out.”

“Which is?” Max asks, one eyebrow raised (Ed would have to ask him how he did that sometime).

“I like the agender label.”

“Oh. So, do you wanna… change pronouns?”

Ed thought for a moment. “Nah. Maybe later.” From behind Max, Ed caught a flash of bright red. He looked up and saw Johnny and his gang and as RJ passed, they smiled briefly at him. He looked away quickly, face warm.

Max furrowed his eyebrows and turned to look behind him, then promptly turned back around with red cheeks, and covered his face with his hand.

Ed looked back up to see Johnny’s friends laughing, though Johnny himself was looking away, ears red.

* * *

 

 RJ was in Ed’s next class and Ed didn’t know how to deal with that. So he sat behind them and stared holes in the back of RJ’s hoodie-of-the-day (seriously, they must’ve had a million of them).

“Ed? Do you know the answer?” Ed looked up at Mr. Spender.

“Uhh. No?”

Mr. Spender sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ed, do you even know the _question_?”

Ed said nothing, though he did try to shrink into something small enough to fit in his desk as everyone else laughed. For the rest of class Ed couldn’t pay attention, and RJ had nothing to do with it this time.

At the very end of class, Ed bumped into RJ, trying to get out of class ASAP. Ed froze, expecting… he didn’t know what. But RJ just patted him on the side and kept walking to the door. Why did this all have to be so confusing?

Ed shook his head and stomped out, making a point to make sure Spender heard him.

 

* * *

It wasn’t until long after he had gotten home that he realized there was something in the pocket of his jacket. He pulled it out to see a crumpled note.

_Talk with me about how dumb gender is?_

Underneath that is a phone number and a name. RJ.

Ed felt his face heat up as he stared at the note. Then there was a knock on the door. “Hey Ed, you ready to kick some serious target butt?” Ed jumped at the noise and shoved the note back into his pocket.

“Uh, y-yeah! Just a second!” He tried to ignore the crack in his voice and the warmth of his face and went to change into more suitable sparring clothes. The note could wait.

* * *

 

Later that night, Ed sat in bed, looking at the note. What should he do? Should he call? Text? Send a note back?

Maybe he should ask Izzy.

Yeah.

Ed swung his feet over the side of his bed, toes just barely touching the floor. He stood carefully, tip-toeing to the door. He grabbed the doorknob and opened slowly, cringing when it squeaked.

He made his way carefully down the hall, pausing whenever anything creaked or shuffled. As a result, it took him about five times longer to get to Isabel’s room than it usually did.

Mostly as a courtesy, Ed knocks, and slowly opens the door to his friend snoring, drool coming out of her mouth.

Right. Because not everyone can handle staying up two nights in a row.

Ed sighs and trods back to his room, not caring so much about noise this time. From under the covers, he pulls out his phone and holds up the note in one hand, thumb hovering over the first of the digits making up RJ’s number.

Then he changed his mind and decided to text Max instead. He proved to be helpful last time, why not now?

 **the burger child, 1:47:** hey buddy how are you whats up

 **magneto, 2:03:** I WAS trying to sleep, but clearly there are more pressing matters that need my attention

 **magneto, 2:04:** but, I digress, I probably wouldn’t be sleeping soon anyhow

 **the burger child, 2:08:** heres the deal i would like relationship advice and in exchange i will give you all of my stars

 **magneto, 2:09:** ………ALL of them? and how many is that, sweet Edward?

 **the burger child, 2:12:** just checked i got like 3

 **magneto, 2:14:** sweet

 **magneto, 2:14:** what’s the ish?

 **the burger child, 2:20:** k so i bumped into rj after spenders class which we are in together and i thought they would be mad but they just patted my side and let me go and earlier at lunch they smiled at me anyway when i came home there was a note from them in my pocket with their phone number so what do i do haha

 **magneto, 2:23:** RJ from Johnny’s gang RJ?

 **the burger child, 2:24:** yeah why

 **magneto, 2:24:** no reason

 **the burger child, 2:26:** raises eyebrow

 **magneto, 2:27:** stop that

 **the burger child, 2:29:** raises eyebrow further

 **magneto, 2:30:** you know what? goodnight, the taunting ain’t worth three stars

Ed chuckled, but that didn’t solve his problem. So it looked like he would be up all night thinking about RJ. Again.

* * *

 Turns out sleep comes much easier when you allow yourself to think about your crush with mysterious cool hair, rather than fighting it. Although it also turns out that said crush will then appear in your dreams, holding your hand, telling you that you’re cool, showing you the world on a magic hoodie ride (that last bit was where things got weird and confusing).

Ed was considerably less tired than the day before, though still more tired than usual. Why was he so hung up on RJ? He had spoken with them a total of one time, and most of that was through Johnny anyway.

He showed up to the Activity Club Room in the morning frustrated and flustered.

Mr. Spender looks at him briefly before walking out.

“So, what’s all this about a love note from a hooded thug?” Max’s voice comes from behind Ed a few minutes later. He turns his head so fast he gives himself whiplash.

“My weirdness and likability was bound to pay off eventually.”

Max smiles and pats Ed on the back. “You get advice from anyone?”

Ed scowls at him. “No.”

“Do you still have the promised stars?”

“Nope. Now it’s two.”

Max screwed up his face. “Hmm. I can work with two.”

“Alright, so can you tell me-”

“Hold on! Show me the stars first.”

Ed sighs and digs in his pocket, pulling out the promised payment. Max peers close at them. “Okay. My advice? Ask someone else.” Max plucked the stars out of Ed’s hand before he could process what had been said. Once he did, however, he began chasing Max around the room.

“Max that wasn’t real advice and you know it! Give those back, I need them for when I bribe someone else for advice!”

Eventually, Ed remembered his tool and slung ink at Max, effectively holding him down while Ed pried the stars from his dirty, thieving hands.

“I think you broke my other arm,” Max groaned.

Just as Ed was putting the stars back in his pocket, Isaac and Isabel walked in and Mr. Spender stopped in the doorway behind them.

“Should I be concerned about this at all?” he asked, brows raised above his sunglasses.

Ed shook his head and Max said, “No, not really.”

Spender looked at them for a few seconds longer, then shrugged. “Alright!” He slid past Izzy and Isaac and went to his desk, powering up the desktop.

“What in the heck was _that_ all about?” Isabel asked.

Ed looked from person to person. He lingered on Max’s face, a silent question about what to do. Max shrugged as best he could while trapped under the spectral ink and Ed looked back up at the room at large.

“There’s a person that I maybe kinda like and they gave me their number and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Isaac’s eyes got wide and he clapped his hands together. “Who is it?”

Everyone looked taken aback by him speaking. “I thought you were mad at us or something,” Max said. “And hey, Ed, it’s getting kinda hard to breathe, can you let me go?”

“You must atone for your crimes to humanity.” Ed stated absentmindedly. He then looked at Isaac and Isabel, very deliberately. “Promise not to laugh.”

“Pinky swear!” Isaac said, holding his pinky out for demonstration.

Isabel looked doubtful. “I can’t promise anything. But I’ll try.”

Ed sighed. “Good enough. Are you listening, Mr. Spender? I don’t wanna relive this inevitable embarrassment.” Spender gave a thumbs up, but continued typing at the computer (probably nonsense, but who knows). “It’s RJ.”

Isabel’s face lights up and Isaac just looks confused.

“Who?”

Isabel got there before Ed could say anything. “RJ’s this kid in our grade, they wear hoodies all the time and their face and voice are likely the greatest mysteries this school will ever know. Suzy even wrote about it in the school paper, and she only writes about what she thinks is important.”

“Wait, you actually _read_ the school paper?” Max asks. His face is turning red and Ed decides that he has paid enough. Max takes in a large gulp of air and stands up, shaking his good arm. “Thanks for not killing me.”

“I may still get you yet, Puckett.”

Max gave Ed a look and shivered, then looked back to Isabel. “But back to this: you, Isabel Guerra, _read_ the _school paper_?”

Isabel avoids eye contact. “I used to get it for Eightfold! And, you know, I like to read what I give her, so yeah! I read the school paper, Max. This isn’t even about me! This is about Ed and RJ and how he _needs_ to text that number, because RJ doesn’t just give their number out willy nilly. They wanna talk to you Ed!”

Ed felt his cheeks burning but didn’t try to hide it. “You-you really think so?”

“Yeah! He should do it, right guys?” Izzy said enthusiastically, looking from Isaac to Max.

Max shrugged but Isaac practically cheered, “Yes! This is perfect! You _have_ to do it Ed!”

Everyone looked at Isaac, but Max was the only one who spoke. “This is probably the most excited I’ve seen you about anything, ever.”

Isaac changed from ecstatic to defensive in a second. “Yeah, well- shut up, Max.”

Max held up his hand. “Hey, no judgement. Just saying.”

“Oh. Cool.”

Ed looked around at his friends (and briefly at Mr. Spender, who gave another thumbs up) and asked, “Are we all in agreement? I should text RJ?”

“Wait!” Isaac yelled out as Ed was reaching for his phone. “You should write a note to them first, replying to their note. It’s cute and funny, and it says that you wanna talk to them, but you aren’t too eager, right? When do you see this RJ kid next?”

“Uh. Gym?”

“That’s perfect! Slip the note into their gym locker, or their bag, or something.”

“Yeahhh, there’s just one problem with that brilliant plan,” Max said.

Isaac tilted his head to the side. “Which is?”

“RJ doesn’t use the locker rooms, says that neither gender fits them, so why should they use a locker room that doesn’t work for them?” Isabel chimes in.

“Where do they change then?”

“Coach Oop’s office!” Ed calls out excitedly, raising a hand in the air.

Isaac looks at Max smugly. “Then leave the note for them in there.”

The bell rings and Spender absentmindedly says, “You kids are late for class.”

* * *

 Ed spends the entirety of first period thinking about what to write on the note. Should he put his number like RJ did? Should he respond to the question or start up an entirely new dialogue? And if he did either of those, how would he do it? Funny and casual, or try to be flirty?

…

Definitely the former, Ed is no good at flirting, as proven by pretty much every conversation he has had with one of his crushes, ever.

He scowls at the piece of paper he had torn from a notebook. Why did everything have to be so difficult? Why couldn’t he just go up to RJ and say ‘Hey, I like you, wanna date?’

Maybe he could write that on the note.

No. Too forward.

Finally he decides on:

_Yeah it’s pretty dumb._

He leaves his name and number for RJ. Now to find out how to break into Coach Oop’s office at just the right time. 

* * *

With the help of his Activity Club peers and one Johnny Jhonny (who was sought out because of his knowledge of the vents and lack of questions when it came to breaking the rules), Ed gets the note taped to the computer monitor and exits the office the way he came in (the vents) just before RJ enters.

Ed resists the temptation to watch them read the note, but he does ask Johnny to make sure that it is received. A few seconds pass and Johnny gives Ed a thumbs up.

And now it was time to play the waiting game.

Actually, it was time to play basketball, according to Coach Oop.

But the waiting game was being played too. So really, it was time for both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't do what i wanted in only 2 chapters, so now it's 3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of this is texting. also, I hc that the way RJ communicates (at least when the subject isnt truly metal) with people who dont know asl is through texting, so there are parts where they send ed a message and ed answers out loud. (its 530 in the am pls forgive me)

As hard as Ed tries, he can’t help checking his phone every few minutes for a message from RJ. Isabel tries to help by sparring, but Ed is so distracted that he loses within seconds and just lies on the floor, contemplating his lot in life.

He wonders if RJ is doing the same thing. Maybe Ed should text them first? But he _did_ reply to the note, so by all rights, RJ should be the one to make the next move.

What if they leave him another note and that’s just how they’ll communicate forever?

It wouldn’t be so bad, if they lived closer. But Ed doesn’t even know where RJ lives. And he’s pretty sure they don’t know where he lives. He’s not sure if he wants them to know. They wouldn’t understand any of what goes on unless they were a spectral.

But they weren’t. Otherwise they would’ve just seen the ghost train and probably wouldn’t have even cared to take a picture.

Ed rolls over so that he’s face down on the floor and just yells into the carpet.

Once he’s done, he sits up and crosses his legs, hands fiddling in his lap. Something to do besides stare at his phone.

Then it buzzes.

He scrambles to fish it out of his pocket and stares at the screen.

 **RJ, 7:23:** How’s that book?

Ed looks at it, hardly breathing and not caring that Isabel is hovering over his shoulder.

 **Burger, 7:25:** it was pretty good as were the others in my bag

 **RJ, 7:27:** How many books did you go and get? Where’d you even get them?

 **Burger, 7:29:** it was only two books but there were at least 4 booklets there too and i got them from max

 **RJ, 7:30:** Ah, the new kid.

 **Burger, 7:31:** yes that is what he is

 **RJ, 7:32:** No doubt, no doubt.

 **RJ, 7:32:** What was he doing with those anyway?

 **Burger, 7:33:** youll have to ask him

 **RJ, 7:35:** I’m good, thanks.

 **RJ, 7:35:** What’s going on with you?

 **Burger, 7:36:** uh

 **Burger, 7:36:** training

 **RJ, 7:37:** Woah what for!

 **Burger, 7:37:** for fighting

 **RJ, 7:38:** Is that why you’re so good at it?

Ed looked at the message, unsure of what to say. Sure, he wasn’t technically lying, but he felt bad about not telling the whole truth. But it wasn’t like he could explain it all to RJ, they’d probably think he was crazy, and even if that weren’t true, it was a secret.

 **Burger, 7:41:** yeah

 **RJ, 7:44:** Yeah, that makes sense.

 **Burger, 7:45:** so how are you

 **RJ, 7:48:** Can’t complain. Hanging with the boys, we’re having a Mario Kart tournament.

 **Burger, 7:49:** oh that sounds so cool

 **RJ, 7:50:** Does it? I can’t tell by your text-tone.

 **Burger, 7:52:** listen im a busy kid i dont have time for punctuation or capital letters

 **RJ, 7:53:** You seem to have an awful lot of time to be texting me.

 **Burger, 7:54:** ive always got time for pretty people

Ed hears a squeak from behind him and turns to see Isabel’s look of pleasant surprise.

“What?”

“I’ve never seen you flirt so well, I’m so proud of you.”

Ed tilted his head to the side. “What do you mean, flirt?”

Isabel’s voice got shrill. “What do you mean ‘what do I mean’? _You’re_ the one calling RJ pretty!”

“Yeah, because they are.” Ed didn’t understand what Izzy was talking about. He was terrible at flirting, and knew it, and there was no way that he could be flirting well, especially not right now.

 **RJ, 7:59:** Johnny here, RJ is currently screaming into Stephen’s couch, what did u do?

 **RJ, 8:01:** Oh wait nvm I see what you did

 **RJ, 8:03:** YOU CAN’T JUST GO AROUND CALLING PEOPLE PRETTY.

 **RJ: 8:05:** YOU’VE NEVER EVEN SEEN MY WHOLE FACE YOU HAVE NO BASIS FOR THESE STATEMENTS.

 **Burger, 8:07:** i have seen it weve been going to the same school for forever

 **Burger, 8:10:** and besides that your eyes are pretty and your voice is pretty and you have nice hoodies and despite your bullying habits youre actually pretty cool

 **Burger, 8:12:** and i dont think you have much malice behind the bullying anyway its mostly just pent up energy and middle school rage but i could be wrong

 **RJ, 8:13:** What are you, some kinda therapist?

 **Burger, 8:15:** no but ive got some psychology books from my dad

 **RJ, 8:15:** Oh.

 **RJ, 8:16:** You’re a weird kid Ed, you know that?

 **RJ, 8:17:** You wanna come over and play Mario Kart sometime?

 **Burger, 8:18:** like a date type thing

 **RJ, 8:20:** If that’s what you want.

 **Burger, 8:21:** that is very much something i want

 **RJ, 8:23:** Then it’s a date.

Ed stares at his phone and gradually starts yelling. He runs around the room and gets a few weird looks from the other wards of the house, but it’s really nothing new for him. Isabel stops him after about four laps.

“What happened? Why is there yelling?”

Ed, too excited to speak, shows her the messages.

Then she starts yelling too.

“When?”

Ed pauses for a moment. They didn’t work that out yet. “I’ll leave a note with RJ tomorrow.” And he promptly started yelling again.

* * *

Of course, with all the yelling and running around Ed and Isabel were doing, they got tired pretty quickly and crashed before 9:30.

Ed woke up the next morning, throat sore and another message from RJ.

 **RJ, 9:48:** Johnny again. RJ hasn’t stopped smiling since u said date. Good job??

Ed smiled and sent a quick message before getting ready for school.

 **Burger, 7:07:** you should really stop leaving your phone so unprotected

At school, before class, RJ hands Ed a note and runs away to join their friends.

Ed opens the piece of paper and it reads: _Don’t tell me what to do._

He smiled and shoved it in his pocket, moving on to open his locker, which had another note from RJ taped to the inside.

_Mario Kart tonight?_

Ed grabbed it and it joined the other note already in his pocket. He had a feeling that it would be pretty full soon enough.

_Sure, what time?_

Ed saw RJ on the way to class and handed them the note as they passed each other.

They spent the rest of the day passing notes back and forth, and during lunch RJ even went so far as to throw paper airplanes at Ed with their messages on them. It was eventually decided that RJ would pick Ed up from the Guerra residence (hopefully without much incident) and the two of them would be on the road and at RJ’s house by 6 o’clock. (There was even permission for a sleepover, which Ed will take full advantage of.)

5:30 rolls around and Ed is anxiously bouncing his leg as he stares out of the window. Next thing he knows, its 6:00 and still no RJ. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he whips it out so fast that he hurts his wrist.

 **RJ, 6:01:** Where in the world is your house and why is it impossible to find.

Ed sighed, relieved. They were just lost. Which was a weird thing to be relieved by when Ed thought about it.

 **Burger, 6:02:** sorry about that ill just come out to the road

 **RJ, 6:04:** Oh no you don’t. I said I was gonna pick you up from your house and by golly I’m gonna.

Ed sighed again and shook his head as he typed the directions to the house. RJ’s response said that they should be there in about 20 minutes.

Those 20 minutes crawl by at a snail’s pace, and by the time the doorbell rings, Ed has already played out at least five terrible scenarios in his head. He’s up and racing toward the door before the noise even stops, yelling out, “I got it I got it I got it!” He stops in front of the door, takes a deep breath, and opens it, revealing none other than RJ themself.

They were staring at two of the spectrals who were sparring in the grass then whipped their head around to look at Ed.

Ed, not knowing what else to do gestured for RJ to come in and they gaped at the equipment around the room. Ed led them to where Grandpa Guerra was observing and said, “Sir, this is the person whose house I’m going over to tonight.”

Grandpa peered down at them. “And what is your name?”

RJ looked up, eyes wide under their hood and stuck out a hand. “RJ. No last name to speak of. My intentions with Ed are to beat him at Mario Kart. Maybe fight him a little bit.”

Grandpa looked at the hand for a second and laughed. “You have nerve. I like you.” He grabbed RJ’s hand and vigorously shook their entire arm up and down. “As much as I may dislike this _freeloader_ I expect him back in one piece. I promised to keep him safe. You may go.”

As they walked down the dirt path back to the main road, RJ started typing something on their phone.

 **RJ, 6:42:** What in the WHAT is up with your house dude?

Ed shrugged. “Master Guerra gets a lot of people here to train for stuff.”

 **RJ, 6:45:** And that’s why you’re there?

“Not really. I do train there, but he’s just taking care of me for a while.”

RJ’s faced scrunched up as they typed.

 **RJ, 6:47:** What for?

“My parents thought he was the most qualified person for the job.”

RJ seemed to find the answer acceptable and the rest of the walk to their house was in relative silence.

When they stepped inside, an adult Ed assumed to be RJ’s mom looked up from her book and waved hello. She and RJ had a brief conversation in ASL that Ed understood none of. He waited until RJ had closed the door to their room to ask, “Where’d you learn sign language?”

 **RJ, 7:16:** My mom’s deaf so I grew up learning sign language instead of regular English.

“Oh. How did she know the door opened then, if she was facing away.”

RJ shrugged.

 **RJ, 7:19:** Wind gusts?

“Fair enough.”

RJ smiles at Ed and tosses their phone onto their bed in favor of pulling a few plastic cases from a bookshelf. When they straighten back up, they’ve got Mario Kart and several horror movies in their hands.

“You ready to get beaten into the dirt and then get the bejeezus scared outta ya?” RJ’s voice was quiet and scratchy, probably because they didn’t use it much for talking.

“Yeah alright.” The first part was probably true, but Ed was doubtful of the ‘getting scared’ part. He’d already seen one of those movies, and in general, almost anything that wasn’t animated always had at least a few stray spirits or ghosts, which made it hard to really enjoy most movies. Anyway, he fought ghosts all the time that were scarier than anything on those covers.

More than likely, he’d act as RJ’s shield from whatever was on screen.

* * *

Boy was he wrong.

Ed had never thought of clowns as particularly scary (their whole job was to be funny) but after two and a half killer clown movies, he was more than ready to change his mind. RJ, who had clearly seen all of these more than once just laughed and let Ed cower into their shoulder.

“I have never been scared by scary movies and I don’t know how to deal with this feeling,” Ed said quietly as the credits were rolling. RJ raised an eyebrow as if they didn’t believe him. “Really! I’m the guy who notices all of the super cheap stuff they used, but I don’t talk about it until after the movie usually.”

RJ nodded slowly, then grabbed the controllers, throwing one to Ed.

At 1:30, RJ decided that winning eight or nine different cup tournaments was enough for them.

By 3 a.m., he and RJ had already had about four different conversations about the universe and it’s mysteries, and how each person had their own mysteries and some people shared them, and it was all very philosophical and deep in ways Ed couldn’t begin to explain.

And as he fell asleep, he decided that RJ would be one of his mysteries.


End file.
